Your Pastor Isn’t God…
so he needs friends. God is the only one who is self-existent (the aseity of God). He has no need for anything or anyone to exist or to be fulfilled. We, however, were created with the capacity and need for human companionship. Your pastor(s) is (are) no different.
So here are a few suggestions to help the pastor(s) of your church in this area. These are just some cursory thoughts that I had regarding this issue, nothing extensive.
1. Pray for him that God would send people (both from the church that he is a part of and leads, and outside of it) into his life who will be godly and loyal friends.
2. Let him pick his friends.
Don’t force yourself or anyone else who you think would make a good friend for him. More than likely, your pastor didn’t choose your friends, so don’t choose his.
3. Don’t get offended if you are not included in your pastor’s inner circle of friends.
He still loves you as a member of the church. He, just like you, only has so much relational capital. This is one area where he mirrors Jesus. Over the course of about 3 1/2 years, Jesus in his earthly life and ministry spent a lot of his time and energy with 12 men (and gave at times special attention to 3 – Peter, James, and John) whom he called to be his apostles. Humanly speaking, Jesus knew that he couldn’t (nor wouldn’t) invest himself deeply in the large crowds that followed him. He knew his relational currency was limited and therefore leveraged it by investing it in a small group of men (and women) whom he, through God the Holy Spirit, would use later for multiplied missional impact.
He can only be close friends with a few people. So please don’t take it personal.
4. Respect your pastor and his friendships by not seeking to breach confidentiality between them.
If you hear wind of something about him or his family and go to the pastor about it and he doesn’t share the details with you, please don’t go to his friends seeking information.
N0te: If you are in a church that has multiple pastors, this not only applies to the Senior Pastor, but to the other staff pastors as well.
What else would you add to this list?